Tidings for a modern Christmas

Some alternative Christmas tunes (alternative suggestions welcome)


From "God Rest You, Merry Gentlemen"

God help you, British Businessmen,
Let nothing you dismay,
Remember Gord our saviour needs you lots of tax to pay,
To clear off all the billions he's borrowing today,

(Chorus) But to Business no comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy,
But to Business no comfort and joy.


From Gord our boss in Downing Street,
A Civil Servant came,
To CBI and FSB brought tidings just the same,
If you don't pass on cuts in VAT, we'll make you feel our pain,

(Chorus) But to Business no comfort and joy, (etc)


They thought they'd ended Boom and Bust, and put it down to Gord,
Of praise for anybody else, NewLab had not one word,
But when in time Recession hit, a different tune was heard,

(Chorus) But to Business no comfort and joy, (etc)

They blamed it on the Bankers and they blamed it on the Yanks,
And ev'ryone but Gordon when the Economy tanks!
For sorting out the mess they still expect the voters' thanks!

(Chorus) But to Business no comfort and joy, (etc)


From "Away in a Manger"

Away in a manger, no house and no bed,
No sellers had HIPS done, so the market was dead,
The CCTV cameras looked down where he lay
The little Lord Jesus, asleep on the hay."


From "Christmas is coming"

Christmas is coming,
The organically-reared goose is getting morbidly obese,
Please put a quid in the fund for pension fund relief
If you haven't got pounds sterling
A Euro now will do
If you haven't got a Euro
Alistair Darling may have a bailout for you

(But only if you work in banking or certain arbitrarily selected industries - tough luck if you work for Woollies.)

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