Thoughts on Mother's day
I don't think there is any human love stronger than the love between a mother and her children.
Hence Mothering Sunday is a very popular event when we commemorate that love.
It does, however, become at best a more bittersweet experience once one's own mother is lost to you. One of the most difficult life experiences which most people have to deal with - and which can only be avoided by dying relatively young yourself - is the death of those you love, and your parents in particular. Those reading this who have had that experience already know that the grief induced by the loss of a beloved parent is quite literally indescribable, so I won't attempt to describe it.
There are some wounds from which the pain never entirely goes away, you just get better at dealing with it. Today is the twenty-first Mothering Sunday since the death of my own mother, and the knowledge that I will never again in this life see her smile still hurts.
But I cannot leave it there. One of the things I learnt through my Christian faith which I would keep even if I stopped believing in a literal God is this: Love is stronger than death.
Bereavement only hurts precisely because what you have lost was worth having in the first place. No loving mother would want her children to be sad on Mother's day after she has gone: she would want the happy memories of the time she shared with you to outweigh the pain of loss.
So now on Mother's day, when I light a candle to my mum, I take care to concentrate on remembering all the good things I shared with her for each moment and spend more time on those positive memories of love and the things she did for me than on thoughts of loss. As long as my mind continues to function, my mother's love will live on in my memory.
And that is not the end either. Just as I can remember and celebrate my mother's love I can see and appreciate the love I see between my wife and our children: the love of a mother for her children goes forward in each generation and never ends. I am a religious person, but you don't have to be religious to have faith in the power of love. In all the universe, there is nothing stronger.
Hence Mothering Sunday is a very popular event when we commemorate that love.
It does, however, become at best a more bittersweet experience once one's own mother is lost to you. One of the most difficult life experiences which most people have to deal with - and which can only be avoided by dying relatively young yourself - is the death of those you love, and your parents in particular. Those reading this who have had that experience already know that the grief induced by the loss of a beloved parent is quite literally indescribable, so I won't attempt to describe it.
There are some wounds from which the pain never entirely goes away, you just get better at dealing with it. Today is the twenty-first Mothering Sunday since the death of my own mother, and the knowledge that I will never again in this life see her smile still hurts.
But I cannot leave it there. One of the things I learnt through my Christian faith which I would keep even if I stopped believing in a literal God is this: Love is stronger than death.
Bereavement only hurts precisely because what you have lost was worth having in the first place. No loving mother would want her children to be sad on Mother's day after she has gone: she would want the happy memories of the time she shared with you to outweigh the pain of loss.
So now on Mother's day, when I light a candle to my mum, I take care to concentrate on remembering all the good things I shared with her for each moment and spend more time on those positive memories of love and the things she did for me than on thoughts of loss. As long as my mind continues to function, my mother's love will live on in my memory.
And that is not the end either. Just as I can remember and celebrate my mother's love I can see and appreciate the love I see between my wife and our children: the love of a mother for her children goes forward in each generation and never ends. I am a religious person, but you don't have to be religious to have faith in the power of love. In all the universe, there is nothing stronger.
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