"A new English doctor is being shown around a Scottish hospital.
The last ward he is taken to visit contains a number of patients who show no obvious signs of injury. He goes to examine the first man he sees, and the man proclaims:
Great chieftain e' the puddin' race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
painch tripe or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o' a grace
as lang's my arm.'
'Some hae meat, and canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat and we can eat,
And sae the Lord be thankit.'
O what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
wi' bickering brattle.
I wad be laith to run and chase thee,
wi' murdering prattle!"'
"Nay, nay," the Scottish doctor corrected him,
"this is the Serious Burns unit."
— Source: Rampant Scotland, Scottish Snippets, 23-Feb-02