The Phantom of New Labour Debt

Above: Sarah Brightman and Steve Harley in the music video trailer for the original stage version of "The Phantom of the Opera."

Alternative words for 2010, about how the gigantic debts Labour left behind are driving the Comprehensive Spending Review (CSR):

"Beneath the CSR, I know he's there,
In each department's pains, he's everywhere
And as the cuts begin, I always find
The Phantom of New Labour Debt is there, these cuts behind."

"As Dave and Nick begin their strange duet,
The harm that Gordo did grows clearer yet,
Who'll give their votes to Ed, their love is blind,
The Phantom of New Labour Debt is now, these cuts behind."

"Those who have seen the books, draw back in fear,
Red ink the mask you wear"
(Steve) "Bankruptcy near",
(both together)
"Blair and Brown's legacy, in one combined,
A Trillion pounds of debt, a deficit to blow your mind."

(Chorus in background)
"Borr'wing 140 billion pounds a year, Borr'wing 140 billion pounds a year"

(Concluding repeat)
"Sing, Dave and Nick again, your strange duet,
To pay off Gordon's debts, will cost more yet,
Who'll give their votes to Ed, their love is blind,
The Phantom of New Labour Debt is now, these cuts behind."

(Sarah repeats "He's there, the phantom of New Labour debt", Steve tells her to sing and then cuts down the chandelier, etc, etc ...)

For the avoidance of doubt, the point of the joke is to suggest that Labour's debt mountain underlies everything that is happening at the moment, not that it isn't real.


Lord Blagger said…
Phantom debt? Get real.

6-7,000 billion of debt.

300,000 per person in the UK.
600,000 per tax payer

Median wage, 25,000

It's bust. Labour's legacy is the inevitable consequence of running up fast debts all by false accounting and keeping it off the balance sheet. The other trick isn't to talk about money, but to talk in terms of GDP. A bit like me going to get a mortgage and including my neighbours income. My using GDP, the government is assuming 100% taxation.
Chris Whiteside said…
The debt is very real indeed, and your comments about the disastrous consequences are on the money except that you appear to have completely missed the point of the joke.

The idea is not to suggest that the debt isn't real, but that, just as the Phantom of the Opera is the malign and sinister mastermind behind everything going on in the theatre, New Labour's debt mountain is behind almost all the unpleasant things the new government is having to do.
Jane said…
This is a superb spoof on New Labour's legacy of debt. I hope Elaine Woodburn sees it before the next Full Council meeting.

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