Wednesday, August 24, 2016

The Lord High Executioner's Little List - post Brexit version

A few weeks ago I posted Richard Suart's superb version of Ko-Ko's "Little list" song from the Mikado which was bang up to date as at January 2016.



However, only a few months later so much in politics has changed and a new list is called for.


If I can work out how to post one I may put a sung version on here, but here are some suggested words for a post-Brexit version:


Ko-Ko’s song from the Mikado: 2016 version

If one day it should happen that a victim must be found,
I’ve got a little list, I’ve got a little list,
Of society offenders who could well be underground,
And who never would be missed, they never would be missed;

The pests who won’t stop phoning about mis-sold PPI,
It’s time to send them all to that call-centre in the sky,
All people who are tone-deaf but keep bursting into song,
John Chilcot who took seven years to tell us Blair was wrong,
And Blair himself, who’ll still that he did nothing wrong insist,
The great denialist; Yes, Tony’s on my list

(Chorus) He’s got a little list, he’s got a little list,And they’d none of them be missed, they’d none of them be missed.


The gamers who walk round with phones to catch a pokemon,
They’re poke-round the twist, I wish they would desist,

The man who writes for newspapers and always gets it wrong,
The tabloid journalist! I’m sure he’d not be missed,

The clot on email lists who over-uses "reply-all,"
Narcissists who share selfies wearing swimsuits far too small,
Road-ragers who behind the wheel become a dangerous git,
The leader of the SNP, who’s champing at the bit,
For yet another bloody referendum, what a twit!
The Scottish separatist; och aye, she’s on ma list!

(Chorus) You may put them on the list, you may put them on the list,
And they’d none of them be missed, they’d none of them be missed.


The Russian athletes doped-up on an industrial scale,
The pharma-medalists; Da, zey are on ze list,
This year for President both parties picked an Epic Fail,
Donald and Hillarist? No, neither would be missed!

Overpaid England footballers, who didn’t understand,
That leaving Europe didn’t mean them losing to Iceland,
The PLP; though Labour MPs know that Jezza’s barmy,
They’re worse at overthrowing leaders than the Turkish army,
I’d Gove and Osborne as the cabinet section of my list,
That doesn’t still exist – they were on Theresa’s list.


(Chorus) And also on MY list! They’re all still on the list,And they’d none of them be missed, they’d none of them be missed.

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